Only 1411 left – A Freaky Idea..

By now almost everyone reading this post must have guessed what I am alluding to. But if your mind is a little pervert and if you have the capability of thinking laterally across the globe, you would have related this topic to something else fascinating. I have come to the conclusion that I cannot do anything about the extinction of tigers, except that started using paper sparingly to protect their habitat. Other than that nothing i can think of.

Lets say this post is for the ‘SAVE TIGER CAMPAIGN’ (Err.. Which tiger??).. Let’s brainstorm the possible reasons why tigers (both) need to be saved, one from extinction and  the other from erotomania. Lets call the animal tiger as Bengal Tiger and the golfing tiger as US Tiger. I intend to offer a two in one solution. I mean in one stone, two mangoes.

Bengal Tiger is our national animal. Undoubtedly, we can’t change our national animal when they are extinct. I don’t exactly know the procedure but what i know is it’s a long process. A bill will be passed in the assembly, may be to change it to an elephant or crow and our opposition will come up with logical reasons why it can’t be a crow or an elephant and demand for Buffalo as our national animal. And finally there will be supreme court ruling saying the national animal should not be any of the animals in the flag of a political party.

If we consider the other option, i.e. not changing our national animal, the fallout is even disastrous. Imagine 20 years hence, when our children at around 13-15 years of age, Its when they are at their heights; start arguing with us why they have to live in a nation whose national animal is extinct! Leave them alone, how would you have felt if your mom had told you Dino was our national animal? Then Jurassic Park would be our national movie. So its almost an issue of national importance for us Indians to protect our Bengal Tiger.

US Tiger is an international sporting icon. He is considered to be a legend, in whatever he does. He has won 14 major championships. Incidentally, If you ask wiki answers, How many affairs did Tiger Woods have? – It says 14 and more. He has been a role model for thousands of his fans, children look up to him, grow up seeing him. If his fans start living Tiger Woods’ life in the ratio of  1:14, then soon the others in US of A will end up like those who contend with him in golf. So again, its an issue of national importance for the US to protect their US Tiger.

So the goal is clear, to protect the tigers. Now, how do we do it! Actually there is a very very trivial solution to this. It is so trivial yet so effective that the world leaders would even felicitate me for this novel idea. I might even get a Nobel prize in physiology. In the likes of 123 Indo-US Nuke deal, we can sign 1411 Indo-US Tige deal.

Here it goes.. Gather all the 1411 Tigers in an auditorium and request Tiger Woods to give a lecture.

This would solve both problems, Our Bengal Tiger would start reproducing in large numbers and Tiger Woods would become a global hero for saving the tigers from extinction.  He can start endorsing Accenture again – High production – Delivered and  Gillette – The best a tiger can get!  This  is the only way we can avoid the embarrassment of explaining to our children about tigers – Showing them a cat, asking them to imagine an animal a zillion times more ferocious.